Anger Management

Everyday some people are asked to seek counseling to control their anger. Many work places, organizations, schools have consultants and seminars about this growing issue. Getting some kind of training and professional assistance will indeed  facilitate people from harming themselves, as well as others. Unfortunately, some people denies and ignores this problem. Anger is an emotion, which is in creation. If we can use it correctly then the results will be positive. Anger is an enemy within us, we need to challenge and defeat it.

We do experience various problems that can either strengthen or weaken us. We should be well aware that it is our responsibility to recognize the problem, evaluate it and show positive approach to it.

What causes anger?

Our work environment, work load, economic pressures of life, friends, families, our children, our previous mistakes and disappointments in our lives. These causes will restrict, limit and impede productivity.

Sometimes we even blame our teachers, parents, employers or friends and our spouse, etc. Discriminations, injustices and abuses may have increase the level of our anger.  Thus negative experiences result in people acquiring quick tempers and lashing out at anyone in their immediate environment. Many times innocent people are harmed in the process. Unfortunately, these conflicts could lead to emotional and mental damage, physical injuries and homicides  and even self-destruction.

As believers we must seek advice and protection from Allah (swt) our Creator.

All sorts of thoughts or suggestions enter into our mind at all the times. Therefore we should shield ourselves with prayer.

When we properly understand the anger then we should approach directly to it and try to correct it. We, as individuals, should challenge anger and try to improve ourselves to eliminate defects, deficiency, immorality, incompetence, irresponsibility, and other conditions that cause confusion and suffering.

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) is noted by Bukhari in his Sahih as saying: “Don’t be angry.” And he repeated this several times.

There is harm in anger or being angry. It is a trap from Shaitan (Satan). Abu Dawud in his Sunan noted that the Prophet (saws) stated: “Anger comes from the Shaitan. The Shaitan was created from fire and fire is extinguished only with water. So when one of you becomes angry, he should perform wudu.”

The Prophet (saws) advises us: “When one of you is angry while standing, let him sit down and if his anger goes away that is good; otherwise let him lie down.” (Abu Dawud)

The Prophet (saws) stated: “Who is strong? He who controls himself when angry.” (Muslim)

Allah’s messenger (saws) also said: “No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, Who is Great and Glorious, than the anger he restrains, seeking to please Allah Most High.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

Don’t get angry

Control your self by not hurting others. An example was given by Prophet Moses (puh) who restrained anger until anger left him quickly as if nothing happened.

We should think first, and not lose control. It is very easy for us to get angry. However, we should try to remain as calm as possible.

Think what you can gain or what you can lose, if you keep staying calm.

When you are angry,

DO NOT

  • judge between two people
  • divorce, for anger paralyzes thinking
  • take serious decisions
  • speak – be silent

DO

  • Seek refuge in Allah (swt)
  • Take wudu
  • Change body positions
  • Change your attention away from the cause of anger
  • Positive approaches

Ibn Abbas narrates: Oh son of Khattab I swear by Allah that you don’t give us enough and you don’t     judge among us justly. Omar became angry to the degree of thinking to hurt him. One of the Sahabah (Al Hur bin Kays) reminded Omar with Quran 7:199; “Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.”

Here are some verses about the subject:

And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities and when they are angry they forgive. (Quran 42:47)

And lower your wing (show kindness) to the   believers. (Quran 15:58)

(They are) humble toward the believers. (Quran 5:54)

And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden (Paradise) as wide as the heavens and the earth prepared for the righteous. (Quran 3:133)

Who spend (in the cause of Allah) during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good. (Quran 3:134)

And pardon them and overlook (their misdeeds). Indeed Allah loves the doers of good. (Quran 5:13)

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I pray to Allah (swt) to give us the right knowledge and guide us, and grant the Ummah the love of the truth and its people. Ameen.

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