What is holy for families?

What is spoken most in family is its most holy.

Family life is the special place where people express themselves in the most comfortable way, and show their true personalities by leaving the business stuff and all the roles aside. Family life, from this aspect, is an environment where truth is lived and spoken. Therefore, the interests, concerns, conversations, agendas, plans, programs, sorrows, joys of the family members are shaped according to this environment.

What sets our agenda in our house? As family members coming together in evenings, what do we discuss? What do we criticize?  What are the main topics spoken among mother, father and children? For what matters we all become sad or happy? What are our interests, what draws our attention, what are we curious about? What is the major purpose we run for, we endure distress, and we make sacrifices? What is at the centre of our family life that all family members circle around like propeller? In other words, what is the most holy in our homes?!

What is spoken most is the most holy in that house.

The word ‘holy’ means “something that awakens or must awaken strong religious respect, that is loved so much as to die for, that needs to be maintained, untouched, not opposed, treasured, and that is sacred.

Human shapes his life according to the thing he knows as holy. He puts his sacred in the centre and schedules his life accordingly. He sets his free time and routine according to that. He does anything what his holy orders him; he avoids anything what his holy forbids him. He sacrifices everything he has, even his life, for his holy. And that holy affects his clothing, his preferred colours, the way he speaks, whole details.

The sacred of the companions, who were honoured with the verse “You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind” (Al ‘Imran, 3: 110), was the pleasure Allah (swt) and the means to attain it. Conversations between them and in their homes were upon this holy purpose. Their minds were always busy with this holy purpose.

However, as we approach present days from the Age of Bliss; worldly possessions, politics and philosophy took the place of that holy purpose. Nowadays minds are all busy with them. These subjects determine the topics of the conversation in houses, and between family members. Happiness and sorrows are shaped according to these sacred things. And -unfortunately- these are the holies that everybody is after and dares to sacrifice everything they have.

Family life is a vessel. And children are like water poured into the vessel. Spiritual characteristics of children, whose nature are based on Islam, are shaped by the family they are in.

Whether these children are going to be servant heroes of the Qur’an or be self-indulgent lovers of the worldly life is directly related to our attitudes and behaviours as parents.

We shall never forget; what is spoken most in a house is the holy of that house. And our children who will be our future shall be raised according to our holy.

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